Verbal abuse involves an abuser who uses profane language that severely interferes with the positive self-esteem and emotional well being of the abused.
Verbal abuse is often about an abuser struggling to gain control over his relationships and circumstances. Those who verbally abuse others often have a low regard for themselves. Verbal abuse is a crime and should be taken just as seriously as physical or sexual abuse.
Characteristics of Verbal Abuse
Verbal abuse involves words or phrases, which reject the victim and which make him or her feel unimportant and ashamed. Name-calling does not have to include curse words to be hurtful.
Verbal abuse may be overt (angry outbursts or name calling) or covert (subtle comments, brainwashing, or disguised jokes).
The victim may be shunned, cursed at, and made to feel stupid, inferior, ugly, incompetent, or ashamed.
The victim may be made fun of for being disabled, or for his or her weight, clothes, religion, race, or age.
The abuser may constantly counter or correct everything his or her partner says and does.
The abuser may refuse to listen to his or her partner and thereby makes the person feel isolated and alone.
The victim may feel that he or she must present a perfect household and perfect circumstances for the abuser so as not to be verbally attacked.
The abuser may act differently prior to marriage and then change drastically after the vows, as though he or she has "won over" and now control the spouse.
The victim may be made to feel as though he or she "started it," "deserved it," or is the root of all problems.
The abuser may just "blow up" for seemingly no reason and the victim may feel that he or she is walking on eggshells when around the abuser.
The abuser may make a spouse feel that he or she has an obligation to stay in the relationship or threaten to leave the relationship or withhold love or monies if the victim continues to "complain."
The abuser may act as if nothing has happened afterward, or even act relieved.
Verbal abuse does not always involve violence, but can sometimes escalate to physical abuse.
The abuser may present a perfect image to the rest of the world, and therefore others may have trouble believing that the abuser says or does such things.
The victim may be made to feel as though he or she is "too sensitive" and "blows things out of proportion."
The abuser typically denies that he or she is doing anything too hurtful or wrong.
Verbally Abused Children
Children who are verbally abused may be afraid to speak up about the abuse for fear that they will not be taken seriously. Children who have been verbally abused perhaps suffer the worst consequences.
According to Wikipedia, verbal abuse can contribute to a child’s inferiority complex, sexist attitudes, anger, lifelong depression, drug and alcohol abuse, and future relationship problems. It is critical that verbal abuse in the home be taken seriously so those children can receive proper counseling and support in their early years.
Put an End to Verbal and Emotional Abuse
Recognize that there is nothing a person can do to stop the abuser. A victim will never be perfect enough or good enough for someone like that.
Recognize that what the abuser is saying is the result of his or her own insecurities and has no basis in real fact.
A victim can begin by explaining and defending him or herself to the abuser. The victim can set boundaries and say definitively that he or she will not listen to these attacks any longer.
A victim should get help and support from a counselor or therapist. This can be either individual counseling or marital counseling, whatever the victim prefers.
Remember that an abuser can never be forced to change. They have to want to change themselves. A victim can only truly take care of him or herself.
Gather the strength to leave. Visit a shelter for abused persons. Learn that there can be life outside of the abuse.
The copyright of the article How to Stop Verbal Abuse in Emotional/Verbal Abuse is owned by Abby Deliz. Permission to republish How to Stop Verbal Abuse in print or online must be granted by the author in writing.
sometimes you can say that some people dont even think their verbally
abusing someone they say the littlest things and dont realize that they can
be scaring someone for life.
Nov 28, 2008 8:38 AM
Guest :
I am being verbally abused and I called a local abused womens shelter and
was told that because my life was not in danger, they would not help me.
I have NO money, no transportation and for the moment, am
totally dependent on my abuser for survival. Thankfully, I will be starting
a new job soon that will get me out of the situation.
What
about women who are not fortunate enough to be able to get away? Shouldn't
every women who is being abused be helped, no matter what type of abuse she
is experiencing? I am sure you agree that verbal abuse is just as bad if
not worse than physical abuse. If I had not researched this subject as
thoroughly as I have, I might have thought that what he's doing is okay
since it's not as bad as if he was hitting me. Thank God I still realize
that the way he talks to me is NOT OKAY!
Nov 30, 2008 7:57 PM
Guest :
I am being verbally abused by my boyfriend. As I read the list, he fit so
many descriptions, such as the rest of the world and his family think he is
an angel. I do not know how it got this way, our first year, everything was
perfect and gradually, he began to feel free to say whatever he wanted. He
also really does not think its wrong or he just really does not care. One moment he is the most loving, caring kind person you will ever want
to meet, but if he gets mad, its like everything he says is no longer and
he says what ever he wants to say, even if I tell him that it hurts me,
then he says I am sensitive and emotional. I almost have to tell him to say
sorry sometimes. I really never thought that this would be me, I never
thought that it could happen to me and that I would put up with it for so
long. Really, love is not enough.
Dec 2, 2008 10:35 PM
Guest :
I never realized just what was happening. The first month after out marrage
he changed. He matches almost every discription. And now he's telling me
I'm seeing someone at school and that I'm lying when I tell him I'm not. I
want out, but I don't know how. I tried before and he followed me and made
it seem like it was my fault for everything. How do you get past the
manipulation and get back your sanity? I'm afraid one day he'll kill me or
someone in my family. Ironically, his dad has the same personality as him
and the same beliefs. I want my life back, how it was before my stupid
decission to get married.
Dec 4, 2008 7:34 PM
Guest :
Some time you don't know your getting verbablly abused.I get verbally
abused at home. It ruined my job performance. I grew up with my dad my
brothers calling me dumb and im never going to get anywhere in life. Also
hearing dad say he doens't like me or he wish i was dead. I actually
started to talk back to them and tell them how i really feel. When i do
that they thought there is something wrong with me so they all neglected
me. Then after few days it went to them doing the samething. I just learned
just talk to someone. Just talk to someone about whats happening to you; It
really helps, I go to counselling because i kept beliving them. I guess
hearing your own dad say your dum, is not the best thing in life. Just talk
to someone.Yeap women need to get helped. IT will have long term effect.
Dec 4, 2008 7:34 PM
Guest :
Some time you don't know your getting verbablly abused.I get verbally
abused at home. It ruined my job performance. I grew up with my dad my
brothers calling me dumb and im never going to get anywhere in life. Also
hearing dad say he doens't like me or he wish i was dead. I actually
started to talk back to them and tell them how i really feel. When i do
that they thought there is something wrong with me so they all neglected
me. Then after few days it went to them doing the samething. I just learned
just talk to someone. Just talk to someone about whats happening to you; It
really helps, I go to counselling because i kept beliving them. I guess
hearing your own dad say your dum, is not the best thing in life. Just talk
to someone.Yeap women need to get helped. IT will have long term effect.
Dec 7, 2008 10:36 AM
Guest :
Im in a really bad situation. my husband curses at me everytime he gets
angry and blames for making him get upset. in the past, he used to hit me,
but since I got a job on the school system working as a part time teacher
assisstant, He stopped( I think He got scared my cooworkers find out about
his behaviour). I always wanted to get married in the church. We talked
about it and we decided we wanted to do it. One of my biggest concern was
the fact that everytime that he gets upset he says " i cant take this
anymore, leave my f.... house, this is my place you deserve nothing, im not
going to marry you." Honestly I felt heartbroken.I asked myself: Is
this the man who iam going to be for the rest of my life? Its very sad
because i love him and he doesnt see it. At present, im seeing a
counselor without my husband knowing anything about it. Im afraid of
telling him that. He will start telling people that im crazy or he sent me
to a counselor because he cant take it anymore..... . Hope you help
me........... He is a prince charming..... you will never believe what he
hides.
Dec 25, 2008 3:04 PM
Guest :
I haven't wanted to believe that he is doing it on purpose. I thought
after he stopped drinking, it would stop. It is almost harder now because
I cannot attibute it to alcohol. He is choosing to treat me this way.
Today is the first time I am able to accept that I cannot ever communicate
with him again. It has been destroying me as defending myself does not do
anything but continue the abusive interactions. It is really his loss.
Dec 27, 2008 12:33 PM
Guest :
I spent 5 years with someone that verbally abused me. I didnt realize it
or at least didnt accept it at the time. I was fortunate and the
relationship ended for other reasons. 6 months later I'm finally accepting
the abuse and see that I had been made to feel inferior in ways that
previously I felt completely competent, and subsequently was having trouble
making any decision in my life (big or small) without his approval. I am
finally starting to feel confident and comfortable in my own skin again,
and not afriad of being disapproved of (for anything -- what I say, what I
wear, my friends, my social engagements, what my friends wear and say, my
carrer choices, my food choices). I'm dating someone else now, and am
amazed that when I have a bad day they are completely willing to listen and
that it does not have to be all about him and his needs all the time. It
is great to begin to get back in touch with myself and my needs and
rediscover what I want. It is interesting, though, that I really dont
think he had any idea that he was abusing me or that our relationship was
not healthy.
Dec 30, 2008 8:28 PM
Guest :
Guest: I am also verbally and emotionally abused. I truly love my
husband. The abuse came slowly and became progressively worse. He's very
imidating. He does not want me to have friends(girlfriends)etc. If I talk
to anyone to long then he creates a story for them to have me remove them
from my life. I have started to isolate myself. He clocks my time from
home. I am not a spender but he questions the little I spend. He even
accused me of having an affair it did not happen. I am very depressed and
i just feel like what did i do to cause this problem to even begin. I have
been called every name in the book. over and over each time it still hurts
like hell. I have no family anymore they have all passed on. So I have no
one. He embarrasses me sometimes in front of others family(his), friends
our children. I try to walk away but some times he will follow me. I have
wanted to talk to someone but they will not believe it is happening
everyone loves him. He definitely does not believe that he has a problem.
RIGHT.I really do love him but the abuse is getting worst and cry all the
time and I am really tired just tired of just trying.
Jan 11, 2009 10:46 PM
Guest :
my parents emotionally abuse me on a daily basis, so much so that now i am
accustomed to it due to the frequency of the abuse. they attempt to make me
feel ashamed, guilty and unhappy, and try to shoot down the things in my
life that bring me true joy, in a sick attempt to make their own lives more
fulfilling.
i think that i've been abused for so long that it
became easier for me to put it out of my mind, but it is still an
incredibly huge injustice and NOBODY DESERVES TO BE TREATED THIS WAY. all i
can do is make sure that living through this will not make me a bad person,
that i will not become like them, and that a better life is awaiting me
when i leave this hell-hole.
some people will try to destroy
your happiness and your spirit through any means necessary, physical or
non-physical, and sadly sometimes the perpetrators are the ones that are
meant to love you and protect you from these horrible injustices (as is my
situation). i'm suffering, yes, but i'll never let them break me. the world
outside my window is too beautiful, it gives me hope to keep on going and
live a better life after i've broken free from this sad and miserable
place.
Feb 12, 2009 10:10 PM
Guest :
I am also being verbally abused, sometimes it can get physical. I want
things to change.It was not like this in the beginning.He blames me for his
frustrations. He also hated how I dealt with my parents, saying if I can
take abuse from them I can take it from him.It's hard when you love the
person and you feel like all your dreams are so close.I never thought this
would happen to me or that I would allow this behaviour. I hope we can heal
as a couple,and move on. I am not sure, if to try or give up.
Feb 17, 2009 5:00 AM
Guest :
I am a man in an abusive relationship. I've looked all over but I have been
unable to find much information on how to deal with an emotionally abusive
woman. Most of the information I have found so far has been centered around
abusive men and how the abusive male personality should be dealt with. I
was wondering if anybody knows a few good resources that I could look at to
understand more about how the abusive female personality works and differs
from the male (if it does) and how we can overcome these problems. I love
my fiancee and I don't want to leave unless I have to, but I'm running out
of options. If anybody could please help I'd really appreciate it. Thanks
Feb 28, 2009 10:48 AM
Guest :
We are in a situation where our 18 year old son is extremely verbally
abusive and explodes almost daily at nothing. Reading the statement that
there is nothing you can do about someone who is verbally abusive makes me
even more depressed than I was already. We have no idea why he has become
this way and are grappling to find a solution.
Mar 4, 2009 12:06 PM
Guest :
My ex-husband would verbally abuse me any time we disagreed. If I caught
him in a lie, he would curse at me so severely, that I was too hurt to even
pursue what he had initially lied to me about. Almost every argument ended
with him verbally attacking me, so that I was too scarred to pursue the
real reason for the disagreement in the 1st place (i.e. late from an
outing, not coming home at night, going somewhere different than what he
originally told me, being with women, getting tickets from police but never
telling me about them, etc.) At times when I did beg him for honesty/the
truth, he would curse at me and then ignore me for days, so that I felt as
I was living in solitary confinement. Because I was outspoken at times
about his lies and abuse, I was made to think that I was the instigator of
the verbal abuse I received. On a few occasions, before we were married, he
had become violent...one time so violently that his roommate actually stood
in front of me to protect me. As I took the steps to leave him/end the
engagement, he pleaded with me tearfully, and with his parents by his side,
that it was only a result of drinking too much/partying too hard with his
friends that he became so drunk and that caused him to act out of control.
I was told it would never happen again under any circumstance. He and his
well-educated parents told me the steps they were taking to get him into
counseling before our wedding, but I'm not sure the counseling ever really
took place! It started out with pushing, then shoving me into a wall and
throwing me onto a coffee table. Then it progressed to throwing soda cans
at me, twisting my arms and hands, pinning my arms and legs to the ground,
throwing me across the room/against a table, into a closet door...To him
and his parents, this didn't constitute physical abuse because he hadn't
actually hit me/struck me with his fist. It wasn't until I had put up with
the verbal abuse and "physical abuse" for seven years that I left
him for good...after he punched me in the head, with a closed fist...his
own definition of abuse. Unfortunately, because I wasn't timid or shy, my
pleas weren't taken seriously...I wasn't a "shrinking violet." In
addition, he denied any of the listed abuse. It wasn't until after the
courts had seen how verbally abusive, harassing, and intimidating he was
during custody exchanges that they agreed to allow the custody exchanges
take place only in police station. The verbal abuse still goes on today.
Mar 8, 2009 9:23 AM
Guest :
I get abused all the time by soceity just for being me and mainly becuase
of my social imcompetence. I am always being made fun of and called dum dum
and other covert things such as jokes and therore I have no one and have
the feeling that I need to be perfect so that people stop taking and making
fun of me for everything. All I want is respect people dont understand how
hurtful they can be and how they can ruin someones reputation in seconds. I
feel that everyone is a hypocrite and have a hard time in trusting people
including my own family. I am really feed up and hate when people say that
I need to change as if they were wiser than me and as if I dont have a
brain. Just some advise, if you ever bump into a social imcompetent person
dont juge them and think that the are less of a person than you. Try to
understand them you might be surprised at how smart they are and how much
more they are aware of the world and of human interaction than you are.
Mar 11, 2009 6:16 AM
Guest :
My live in boyfriend who is 37 years old likes to abuse me on a daily
basis. I get scared when he comes home and when he is at home he likes to
treat me like I am trash.I got him custody of his 2 kids and I do
everything in the house between cleaning, cooking, looking after his kids
and being scared that I'm not doing it right I am feeling more and more
like a nobody. I am 36 years old and I am scared more scared than I
ever have been. The one peson said it right the shelters won't help unless
you are being physically abused. I am loosing who I am and forgot the
person I was.Its easy for people to say get out but its harder to actually
leave.
Mar 17, 2009 3:02 PM
Guest :
I know that he has been verbaly abusive yet it is extremely hard to leave.
I stopped working full time in august and thats when it really started. I
then found out i was pregnant with our 2nd child, since then everyday has
been a struggle i also have no money, job, or much of anything for the new
baby and she is due in less than a week. I feel helpless and hopeless.
Not sure where to start to get my life back in order.
Apr 8, 2009 2:31 PM
Guest :
I am a verbal abuser. I didn't realize I did it until my last relationship.
I learned it from my family, but it is my own fault for not dealing with my
situation at the very beginning. I have been extremely critical, nothing is
good enough for me, and I catch myself saying things I don't mean. I don't
want to be like this. I hate myself for it. I guess in my mind, I thought
once the stress would pass, I would be able to properly deal with my
emotions. I feel lost that he's gone, and I wish there was a way to make it
better. I am not sure how to go about getting out of this damaging habit,
but I guess the first step is acknowledging the problem and having a
positive attitude. The list above is right on target- all of the reasons
why he couldn't take it anymore. I made him feel inferior in little ways.
If I would fail at something I would blame my surroundings. He would try to
make things better for me, and would let me cry with hysteria, and after my
episodes were over, I would apologize. I insulted things about his life-
his beliefs and such, and I would say things I didn't even mean or believe
to be true. I don't know why I did it. I don't know how to handle stress. I
have very supportive and loving people around me, but I am not sure if this
is a problem I need to work on alone? I want to be a pleasant person. I
want to be nice to people, and instead of yelling or using psychological
(often manipulative) techniques, I want to be able to talk things through
and fix the way I am. I don't know how to stop being critical. It seems
like I have an opinion about everything, and it helps me to be outward with
these feelings. I just didn't realize how much it hurts other people to
constantly hate (even though I feel like I have a lot of love, too). He
hurt me for leaving, but I hurt him more than I probably know. I am going
to change- I am not sure how, but I have to. If I make other people this
miserable, and have forced the person I love into this, then something must
be done. There are people in my family who need to change as well because I
have begun noticing things in them that I have been doing, and I would like
for my surroundings to change for the better (for us and everyone around).
This is a horrible feeling- when you come to the realization that
everything is your fault, and it's too late. I realize now that you choose
the people you're in a relationship with- so you need to work to keep
healthy relationships. I hope you can forgive me and all of us.
Jun 14, 2009 4:21 AM
Guest :
Hi, i hope someone will read this that can help me determine my situation.
I am 22 years old and met my bf 2 years ago, he was loving, funny, kind he
made me happy i fell in love with him. But every time he drinks he says
such horrible things to me and makes me feel so worthless. It's almost like
he is split into two people. The next day when his sober and i try to tell
him he just rolls his eyes and either doesn't say anything at all or just
say 'alright' cause he doesnt wanna hear it he accuses me of moaning
because he cant remember what he has sad to me the night before. Its
breaking my heart he says things to me that i cant just forget they hurt, i
almost feel like my confidence is being broken bit by bit. When i read your
earlier comments i could definatley relate to all his and my famly think
his an angel. Last night we went to his dads house for a drink up he was
telling me in front of people how much he loves me with all his heart and
hugging and kissing me but as soon as we got home it started he said he
wanted to sleep on the floor that shud show me what he really thinks of me,
im an f*ing idiot, im a loser, and how he cant stand me im crazy he only
stays with me cause his stuck wiv me (were renting a flat) look at me im
just a f*ing idiot im the girl the lads stay away from and laughs at me. I
cried all night it hurts me so much i dont know what to do. I mentioned it
to him this morning and he just huffed doesn't wanna hear it does he, how
can he be so cruel.When his sober i love him him we have our little
arguments as all couples do he tells me he loves mehow beautiful i am but
then he does this when his drunk. I'm so confused and even when his sober
and tells me im beautiful and he loves me i find it hard to believe cause
of all the nasty things he says when his drunk. Its breaking my heart and
its wearing me down. Does any1 have any advice for me? and do u think i am
suffering emotional abuse?
Jun 17, 2009 8:43 PM
Guest :
I am being verbally abused. I have lost myself 2 years ago.I can't get that
person back because I didn't stand up for myself.The big problem is I love
my abuser I don't think I can leave him. I want him to change, He has
already said he won't change for me or anyone. I have a 3 year old daughter
what kind of example am I showing her. I know I desereve better but I love
him. I have fallen in love with someone who doesn't care for me. why must
men be so cruel?
Jul 16, 2009 1:23 PM
Guest :
My wife is verbally abusive and sometimes acts out in violence like
breaking things. Today I told her that her insults were abusive and she
said "they're meant to be." I told her not to abuse me and she
said "I WILL abuse you." I'm not sure what to do. This site
says that verbal abuse is illegal, but I'm not sure how to pursue that, or
if that claim is valid in Nevada. I'm sure I'll talk to our bishop and I
may look up actionable offenses in my State/County. I'm not interested
in leaving her, and she hasn't harmed the children or I probably would.
She knows she needs help and has said it several times, but she also
refuses to go to counseling. I wonder if making the appointment is some
initiative I can take that will help. Our church will pay for a therapist,
but I don't know if she'll go. I also would have to arrange for a
babysitter or she would become violent because I left her with the kids.
Life is hard sometimes, eh?
Aug 20, 2009 9:40 AM
Guest :
My boyfriend (now ex) is physically & verbally abusive. I have never
been treated bad like this before. This was a first for me. He would go
from being the man of my dreams one moment to being a nightmare I wished I
could wake up from the next. I loved him so much I dealt with the hitting,
threats and name calling. The forth time the physical abuse happened I
ended up in the hospital with not just my normal bruises and body pain.
This time I have a major leg injury that will effect me for the rest of my
life, a ton of bruises, cuts and a split lip. The police did arrested him
once they arrived. I won't be going back to him this time if he tries to
ask me to come back. My heart is broken because I was in love but I will
just have to force myself to get over that. Yes I do feel terribly bad that
he is in jail but I can only hope this will help him learn a lesson. I
myself have learned from this that no matter how much you love your abuser
and hope that the person will change, they will not. The first time a
person tries to lay a hand on you, you should walk away and be done, that's
it. I seen the signs and didn't listen. Love isn't supposed to hurt. I wish
I wouldn't have had to learn the hard way. Don't be like me!
Sep 11, 2009 10:15 PM
Guest :
I am being verbally abused.It took me 1 1/2 of being married now to relize
it.I love him,but its always my fault.He uses hurtful words to me,says I
need consouling,he doesnt.If he says he needs it cause oif me &they
will tell him to get rid oif the problem,which is me.he is jealous if a guy
even looks at me.he makes remarks of what I wear.He wasnt like this at
first when we met I fell in love with him.Something doesnt go right he
stars on me.I can't talk anymore,call or ask a question.Now he says people
at hisw job say I am stupid because I called him one time on a fishing
trip,but he said i called alot.I'm glad i know what is ngoing on is nhot
right.
Sep 14, 2009 8:50 PM
Guest :
I feel so sad and alone. I have no doubt in my mind that my boyfriend is
down right cruel to me. I am sick to my stomach with this and i answered
yes to alm,ost every sign of the verbal abuse. I feel like such an idiot to
still be in this relationship. what is wrong with me? i dont have anyone to
talk to because i am to ashamed to admit the way he treats me.
Sep 22, 2009 9:06 AM
Guest :
I have been with my husband for 18 years have three children. we owned businesses and properties together. He is physical and verbal abusive he
calls me b and slut and all the names in the book in front of my kids. He
also hits me in from of them. Numerous times i want to call the police but
i do not because the kids. He talks bad about me to his friends and
family. Everything i do is wrong he is always right I am so depressed and
sad. I have been dealing with this for 18 years. I lost myself years ago.
I want to leave so bad but my two oldest sons love there dad. I have a 2
year old daughter that i do not want her to think is ok to be with a sick
person like him. I tell him all the time i will be leaving him soon
Sep 24, 2009 7:56 AM
Guest :
I'm pretty sure that my gf is verbally and emotionally abusing me. When she
gets mad, she says multiple hurtful things and has destroyed my belongings
on one occasion. She has also threatened to leave me and threatened to
break my arm because I was reaching for my cell phone that she was
withholding from me. She blames what she does on trust issues and on me.
She won't let me talk to people on myspace and assumes I'm flirting with
everyone.
Oct 18, 2009 4:13 PM
:
I left a verbally/emotionally/physically abusive marriage over 5 years ago.
In my case, the VA/EA was more freequent than than PA but it hurt just as
much and was as damaging to my body and spirit.
I am sorry for
the Guest who was refused help by the local shelter. I was able to get help
from a shelter in the form of advice and support during court hearings and
they gave me some things to help me set up in my new apartment. I hope you
can find a way to get counseling from somewhere and that your new job
provides you with the means to get away.
Oct 29, 2009 10:11 PM
Guest :
I am currently a victim of verbal abuse and the crazy thing is that i know
exactly what it is and every description listed above is totally him. The
sad thing is that we have three kids together and he goes into fits of
anger and rage in fornt of the kids. I when he gets upset it is onpen
season on calling me out of my name. The sad part is my son is starting to
call my daughters names like his father does to me. I try my best to
intervine and let my son know that what he is doing to his sisters is wrong
and never the less unacceptable. The really sad part is that even my
daughters know that the way there father speaks to me is wrong. it got
worse back when i started nursing school, he constantly found ways to be
little me, accuses me of cheating, calling me a lier frequently and
anything to make me feel inadaquet,and him like hes in control,nd better
than me, but im strong mentally. you see i grew up in a home with my mother
and step-father since age 2, my step-father was the only dad i had. My dad
loved my mom, and he loved me and he treated us with wtih compassion and
understanding everyday. dont get me wrong they had disagreements but thats
life right, people diagree it dosent me you have to try to take away
someones soul because they dont agree with you. in my household my mom told
me she loved me daily, and dad called me a heartbreaker. My parents lifted
my spirits everyday with words of encouragement and positive self-esteem
leaving me with a positive self image. You see i know how a real man is
suppose to behave towards his wife, daughter and family and he is none of
that. He is a scared little boy who never learned how to communicate
effectively and as sooon as i graduate from nursing school in 3 months that
will be the first thing i say to him after i have packed me and my kids
bags. As i am typing this right now he just called be the "B"
word under his breath. And all i can do is smile knowing that god has a
bettter place for me and one day all this VERBAL ABUSE will be a distant
memory.
Nov 1, 2009 7:53 PM
Guest :
I recently left my abusive husband physical/verbal. I am here to tell all
of you women out there that you do not have to live with an abusive man. I
don't make very much money, and I have two children, but there is
assistance out there that can help you get by. It may not be the life syle
you was once acustom to but its truly a small price to pay. I have found
many women say oh but I love him I'm here to say if he dosen't respect you
then he don't love you and you should love yourself and if you have
children love them enough to say I don't have to take this and they don't
have to either! The day I heard my son cry out because my now exhusband bit
me that broke my heart and I decided then We didn't have to take that kind
of treatment anymore and I don't want my son becoming an abuser. SO to all
of you women out thereI challenge you to take that leap I will not lie is a
tuff road and its hardto walk on but its worth it I am still being abused
verbally and somedays I brak down and cry but I pray hard and look at my
boys and that gives me strength I know im dong the right thing So you need
to ask yourself are you doing the right thing staying with a abusive man
tht you say you love but doing get the same love in return? Please THINK
ABOUT IT BE TRUE TO YOURSELF
