Misogyny and Abusive Relationships
Signs to Get Out of an Abusive Relationship and Get Help
Jul 31, 2008
Some woman have witnessed, as a child, abuse in the household. Outside, it is common to see a couple displaying domestic violence. In some societies, it is a way of life to belittle a woman or compare her to a slut or whore. Many women may be a victim of abuse today, but because of ignorance, fear and thoughts of never finding a mate who will treat her right, she subjects herself to an abusive relationship.
Women are emotionally abused and are not aware of it because it is so prevalent in certain communities. Fearing a partner or being controlled on the things that you like to do is not normal. Abuse is not always physical, but it can be destructive to one's self-confidence, and it can lead to physical abuse or sometimes death. It is important to know the sign and causes of abuse.
If a child is involved in an abusive relationship that is a motive to get out of the relationship.
The Office of Violence Agianst Women (OVW) is supporting a new supervised visitation special initiative in the metro area for battered women with children.
"We have learned, often the most dangerous time for a mother and her children is when she separates from the batterer," said Cindy Dyer, Director of the Office on Violence Against Women (OVW).
She explains that Supervised Visitation Grant program helps communities to increase safety for a victim and her children using visitation and exchange services. The program will address custody and visitation issues, and examine local interstate custody issues for families using supervised visitation and safe exchange services.
The first step is noticing the signs of an abuser. There are plenty of ways that you can tell if you should be on your way out.
Manipulates Your Actions by Deriving Pity and Fear
Abusers manipulate their victim's actions by deriving pity and fear, such as bullying or telling sob stories to get what they want. For example, the abuser might use intimidation, such as name-calling and threatening even when he is wrong. The abuser will simplify his or her actions while blaming the victim for defending his/herself.
Acting Overly Jealous and Controlling
Sometimes one may be jealous because of his or her own low self-esteem, so not every jealous person is abusive but watch for additional signs. If the abuser begins controlling what his partner wears and secluding her from her family and friends, than that's a problem.
Threatening to Commit Suicide or Harm
Threatening to commit suicide, harm themselves or you to get what one wants can be manipulation. If someone threatens to kill him/ herself because the partner wants to leave, this is abuse. It would be smart to let someone know if one feels that someone will commit suicide, but most of the time someone who threatens to kill himself usually doesn't. Someone who wants to kill him/herself wouldn't want anyone to stop him, advised the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) /website.
Physical and Sexual Violence
If a partner uses physical and sexual violence, such as grabbing up, choking, throwing things, punching things, forcing or overpressuring you to have sex or any other things that can intimidate you, this is abuse.
Humiliating You in Front of Other People
What goes on behind closed doors is between the people involved in the relationship. Your partner shouldn't expose you sexually, embarrass or criticize you in front of other people.
Too Many Excuses and Apologies
Abusers make excuses for their behavior, for example, by blaming it on their past, on everyone else, or on alcohol or drugs, or anger problems.(If they have a problem with drugs or alcohol they need to get help.)
Ways the Community Can Help Violence Against Women
On the website of The U.S. Department of Justice, there are 12 grant programs to communities that are developing programs for ending violent crimes and providing help to victims. Communities and organizations can help raise awareness and support training and services that respond to incidents of domestic violence, dating violence, sexual assault and stalking.
"Working together we can be a formidable opponent to ending the crimes of domestic violence, dating violence, sexual assault and stalking here in our own community," Said Cindy Dyer on her web site.
